So I am sitting at work waiting for my bosses to hand me my work for the day, and though this morning I am feeling fantastic, I have to admit that for the last few weeks I have been feeling down.
I took care of the paperwork for my passport weeks ago, and though I still haven't received it back in the mail I felt at the time like "wow, I am accomplishing something on my way long to-do list to get myself where the Lord wants me to be." However that is all I have crossed off my to-do list. I feel like time is crushing me and I am accomplishing nothing. I am worried about money, I am worried about a second job, I am worried about getting a Visa (no not the Credit Card), I am worried that I am all talk and no action.
When I first realized that this is what I needed to be doing I had this huge fire lit under my butt, but I feel like the flames are slowly going out. I am not quite sure what to do. I keep praying for the strength to accomplish this, for the strength to be patient and work on the Lord's time frame, but I am SO human.
I want what I want and I want it now!!! UGH! I know I sound selfish, I know I sound egotistical, I know I sound like a great big jerk.
Then I had a wonderful reality check this morning in an unexpected way. One of my closest friends Mel has a sister who has cancer. She is blogging about what she is going through. (http://strbrte.blogspot.com/2010/09/weeks-17-22.html?spref=fb) Her words made me realize that I have absolutely NOTHING to worry about. I am not sick, I am not dying, I do not have a husband, I do not have kids. I am just moving. It isn't the end of the world. If I am truly trusting in the Lord then I should not be worried at all. I need to chill and realize that everything will come together in its own due time.
So though you may never read this Star, Thank you for your blog and I hope you get better soon.
